3 Easy To Follow Rules on How To Start Texting a Girl
Before you start texting your girl and “making a move” with a particular girl you should ask yourself “What’s my goal here?” You would push the boundaries harder, faster, and more sexual with a woman who you just want to sleep with. However, with a woman who you’re looking to date, you will focus on hitting waypoints that build attraction and comfort and interact with her in a way that reduces the risk of failure long-term.
Step 1 of How to Start Texting a Girl:
- Always send low investment texts early on.
A low investment text is one that does not ask for too much in return such as:
“What’s up Jessica? Cute beanie wearing all american boy”
On the other hand, a text such as:
“Hi Jessica. It was really nice meeting you. Are you free tonight for dinner?”
Low investment texts generally have the highest probability of getting a response back. You are never guaranteed a response, but they give you the best chance of a reply. They keep you from showing your cards and giving your power away too early, and allow you to measure the level of investment that you have from her without asking her directly how she feels about you.
A woman’s response to these text messages gives you a fairly accurate measure of her level of investment. Her investment is like a road map helping you strategize your next move. If she gives you a response which indicates low investment ( a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response or a very short answer), you can interpret it as a signal for you to send more low investment messages. If, on the other hand, she takes the bait and gives you a text message which indicates a high level of investment, (such as a longer, more detailed message or one playing along with your Callback Humor) then your next message can accelerate the meet up faster if you choose.
Step 2 of How To Start Texting a Girl:
Early on, make statements instead of asking questions as much as possible.
Making statements keeps the woman from psychologically registering that she is blowing you off if she does not reply. This is because you didn’t technically ask her anything. Making statements that are light and moderately funny, instead of asking questions, sub communicates many good attributes such as non-neediness, humor and social intuition. Moreover, statement texts build comfort because they minimize any potential anxiety (as she is not required to respond).
Until you have a degree of investment from her the ‘no’ can have a very negative effect. Above all, do not ask her anything she can say a hard “no” to. It is very hard to recover from a firm “no” early on in an interaction. The idea behind statements is that she cannot say “no” if you do not ask.
How NOT to start texting a girl:
You:“What up Sarah?”
Her: “Hey, who is this?”
You: “Ben, we met last night.”
You: “Want to grab a drink Friday?”
Her: “I’m sorry I already have plans.”
You: “That’s cool, how about Saturday?”
Her: “I have to work. Thanks though.”
You are as good as done at this point. It’s pretty much game over. You seem too desperate and needy. If you text her anything else it’s pretty much over here. It’s too much investment so early on.
Step 3: When and How to Start Texting a Girl With Questions?
Early on keep any questions so light and simple that if she didn’t answer them, you would lose little to no value. This does not mean that you cannot ask her boring questions at all. The key is to be conscious of not asking too many boring “yes” or “no” questions in a row. One boring “yes” or “no” questions is the limit suggested for the first couple of text exchanges.
The only questions that you should be asked in the early phase are questions that are non-intrusive, yet personally relevant to her, open loops (conversational topics you deliberately leave unresolved to encourage her to focus on closing it) that make her think and want to answer just so she can get the open loop in her mind closed, or questions handcuffed with a statement or a joke. The more invested she is, and the more questions that she ask you, the more plain questions you can ask her without going into the “danger zone” of going for too much rapport too early.
If is important to be conscious not to attempt to build too much rapport early on in the text interaction if she only invested a handful. Not only can too much rapport kill attraction, particularly for very attractive women, but also be aware that many women will not be willing to let you get too much rapport early on. Silly questions that do not require an answer are great here.
You: “Why does Toronto traffic suck so bad? I need a helicopter.”
You: “Is it 5:00 yet!!? I’ve decided that I need to just marry a rich girl…work is for the birds. Are you rich? :)”
You: “What up Harvard Girl? Can you levitate things withy our brain like Darth Vader because you’re so smart? That would be sweeeet….”
If you have any bad experiences with texting or examples of your text game, please comment below.