5 Ways Approaching Anxiety is Killing Your Daygame Success
Approaching anxiety is a big problem in the PUA community and it’s killing people’s success, before they even get a chance to use their magical opener. They put so much emphasis on openers, and don’t focus on the actual approaching part of the game. There are some great, bright individuals who get into the daygame scene and I hope you are one of them.
However, so many guys spent ages reading and studying the daygame material, but they forget to actually focus on the more important aspect of game. That particular aspect of daygame is approaching women in the real world outside forums, daygame DVD courses or their favorite YouTube Daygame TV channel. You go out and physically approach women on the street, coffee shops or malls and you build your approach habit.
5 Approaching Anxiety Reasons:
1. Approaching anxiety is a bitch for the first 30-50 times, but it gradually goes down and you develop a system in your brain that can override this feeling in the future at will. However this is only possible if your state is high enough naturally. However, if your constant natural state is not high enough to override the system, you feel affected by the all mighty and powerful approaching anxiety. It’s so overwhelming that you can’t get yourself to do anything and you feel stuck in the matrix of paralysis. Yeah, we’ve all been there, even the best like Tyler or Julienne RSD.
2. You natural state or your current “shitty state” should be higher than most people’s highest state for you to be able to override your own “approach anxiety” at any point in time consistently. You’re not forming your approach habit on consistent basis. Do your one approach every single day, rather than 59 beast mode approaches on the weekend. That causes burn out and it’s another reason that actually worsens approaching anxiety and creates a feeling of aversion. This intensified approaching anxiety to the point where you feel almost sick. Don’t do “beast mode” approaches as a beginner, but focus on building towards dozens of approaches in one given day. It’s like going to the gym and trying to be the cool guy who lifts more than he actually can, and then injuring yourself and hating life for the next 4 months because you can’t go to the gym. Don’t be an idiot, build up your approach habit and don’t stress out over results just yet.
3. You are failing to form the approach habit, because you haven’t approached enough girls to numb yourself to approaching anxiety. Again, stop focusing on the external results or negative feedback, rather put your focus internally and just naturally observe your inner approaching anxiety (in an almost meditative state) as an outside observer and don’t judge yourself or beat your self up over it. Let your first 5-10 approaches come naturally to you and begin building from there. It’s not rocket science, be patient.
4. You embrace the “avoidance dilemma” at any given opportunity by creating or embracing your inner excuses to go out and approach. It’s killing your game so stop rationalizing your crappy excuses and go approach even if it’s raining outside. Sometimes you see a girl and say to yourself that her shoes don’t match her shirt, or you decide that she’s not hot enough for you, or she’s too bitchy looking. Whatever the perfect excuses you come up with, you eventually pick one that’s the most logical and beautiful. It’s a great way to cheat yourself out of getting real success.
5. You place too much importance on the outcome and psych your self out too much. This causes a lot of pressure being built up and you get stuck in your head. Once you get stuck in your head, you start analyzing and strategizing and planning every move so much that you want to run the perfect approach. By the time you decide to approach, the girl is long gone. Now, you’re stuck in your head, and your own reality has sucked you in so deep into its potentially terrible scenarios, that you are just about ready to go insane. The key here is to cut your reaction time down to 0.00001, meaning that as soon as you spot her, you start immediately walking towards her. It’s like a conditioned response that you’re forming in yourself and that’s the approach habit that naturally helps you override your approaching anxiety.
I hope this article made everything clear as mud for you and didn’t help you at all. Leave me comments below daygamer.
I don’t read them anyway. Peace out.